Bruce Wilis & Diane Parsons
to our mini-Christmas Edition and Greetings to All. Two major
themes have been running around in my mind this month and, if
you'd care at all to become familiar, allow me to elucidate.
Firstly, I've been thinking of ways to use my role as editor
of this intelligent and classy e-zine to my advantage. I have
felt the tantalizing nip of power. It's my word or the technological
highway so to speak. Secondly, in lane two and owing to the
time of year, I have been pondering what I want. Like many people
who celebrate the commercial aspects of the coming season, I've
been thinking about presents.
It is no great stretch that with these two prominent thoughts
jogging around the oval track of my mind that they should eventually
stumble over one and other. Do you see what I'm getting at?
I have lighted upon a wish and I have some power to obtain it.
So, here it is. I want to meet all those really big stars that
everyone clamours to see when a movie shoot comes to town. I'm
tired of reading in the paper that Arnold Schwartznegger visited
my local Bunsmaster and I don't want to hear any more stories
about running into Sean Connery at the deli. I don't want to
have to wait in the rain to spot someone famous. I want them
to come to me. I want big stars to drop by my place on Christmas
day with a platter of mini sausage rolls for us to share.
While I often read about trashy public mobs stalking Hollywood
stars, I have always felt myself above resorting to such lengths.
I fantasize that if I meet Bruce Willis at the mini mart I will
smile sweetly and point out that the root beer slushies are
particularly good today.
I remember being in Halifax (for those of you south of the border
- that's in Canada - you know the country that's loosely related
to Queen Elizabeth - not that I'm name dropping or anything)
when Sylvester Stallone was visiting. He was staying on his
boat and some people used telescopes and zoom lens cameras to
spy on him having lunch in the cockpit. Pathetic, I thought.
If only poor Sly could come visit us for a real lunch with real
people, he would be charmed out of his muscle shirt and Nike
shorts with the red stripe on the side (not that I looked at
any of the pictures those nosy reporters took!).
Let's get to the bottom line shall we. What I want is to be
able to say, in January, when I go back to the office, "Oh that
was such a fine holiday, yes. I particularly enjoyed the visit
from Kevin Spacey. His canapés were lovely. Too bad he couldn't
stay for the evening when Meryl and Demi dropped by. They certainly
agreed with me about Dustin's new movie but we had to stop talking
about that when he arrived."
So, if any big stars out there are of the mind to grant this
poor editor's wish for Christmas, please contact me through
The Bean Scoop. I don't want to hear from anyone but really
big stars - people who everyone knows. I don't want to be stuck
at the water cooler having to explain who you are.
Let me know and I'll put on an extra pot of coffee.