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Happy
Valentine's Day!
Welcome to our Valentine's edition of the Bean Scoop. Our
theme is, of course, love – that simple, sweet, complicated,
difficult emotion. Some of us are in love, falling out of
love, in love with love, wishing, hoping, denying, or pissed
off about love. Remember when you were fourteen and you
bought the Hollywood version of love? Still buying it? Yeh,
me too.
At fourteen, my ideas were reinforced by the Harlequin Romances
that my sister and I use to devour like saltines. One hundred
and eighty six pages of sentimental drivel. Of course, now
that I'm all grown up, I demand at least three hundred pages!
And, I know I'm not the only one guilty of this secret pleasure.
Just look at the romance section in any bookstore. It's
rather large. Yes, I know that its formulaic writing, and
I know its about as redeeming as the WWF. I even suspect
that the love scenes are all written by the same woman (perhaps
the wife of the guy who does all the Penthouse letters?).
Can you see them trading work back and forth and she just
substituting "his pulsing ecstasy muscle" and "the core
of her womanhood" for the more graphic and honest words
from the magazine?
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Now,
guys, a word to the wise. Don't think you can't use
your lover's romance novel addiction to your advantage.
Some advice? Mix her a martini
while she's reading and then go have a shower and
a shave. Come back when she's around mid-book. All
good romance authors involve their characters in at
least one good 'tryst' by that point. Your love interest
will be ready to put her book aside and engage in
a little love play herself. |
And, if she moans something like "Oh, Hawk" or "My, my Laird
Sterling", just be cool and put it down to the martini.
Happy Valentine's Day and Remember to Play Safe.
Diane
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