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ROVING REPORTER: Cathy, thanks for taking the time to talk to
us today.
CATHY COFFEE: Uh, no problem.
ROVING REPORTER: So, you make coffee.
CATHY COFFEE: Yup.
ROVING REPORTER: Tell me about that.
CATHY COFFEE: People come here, they order coffee. I make it.
ROVING REPORTER: You have a real gift for the gab, Cathy.
CATHY COFFEE: Huh?
ROVING REPORTER: Nothing. Do you do anything else?
CATHY COFFEE: Well, sure. Sometimes I take their money, make
change, that kind of thing.
ROVING REPORTER: Sometimes?
CATHY COFFEE: Only when it's not busy. Otherwise someone else
does that.
ROVING REPORTER: Okay. And, what would be your favourite drink
to prepare?
CATHY COFFEE: Scotch. Neat.
ROVING REPORTER: I was thinking more about your work, Cathy.
What would be your favourite drink to prepare, here, at the
café.
CATHY COFFEE: Oh sure, right. Well, I DO like pouring scotch
but I see what you're trying to get at.
ROVING REPORTER: You do?
CATHY COFFEE: Well sure, you're from, like, a coffee e'zine,
right?
ROVING REPORTER: That's right.
CATHY COFFEE: So you want to know about my work, right?
ROVING REPORTER: If it's not too much trouble.
CATHY COFFEE: No. Sure thing. Hmm. Herbal tea.
ROVING REPORTER: Pardon?
CATHY COFFEE: Herbal tea. That's what I like to make.
ROVING REPORTER: Not a coffee drink.
CATHY COFFEE: Not so much really. They're pretty messy and the
steam is fucking hot.
ROVING REPORTER: It's not that easy for you?
CATHY COFFEE: There are a lot of steps.
ROVING REPORTER: Can you elaborate?
CATHY COFFEE: Well you gotta think about the cup size, the type
of milk, the flavourings. It's mind boggling really. I'm confused
half the time.
ROVING REPORTER: I don't know. I watched you work this morning
and you make it look easy. You and the other staff seem to have
codes and signals for all the different things on the menu.
CATHY COFFEE: You know, that's all show really—waving our arms
around and calling out those things people like to hear. You're
not going to believe this but sometimes I make the same drink
over and over. Usually only one person in an hour notices the
mistake or bothers to complain.
ROVING REPORTER: What do you do when they complain?
CATHY COFFEE: We make a big fuss over the customer. Give them
the proper drink and a coupon for next time. Makes for good
business.
ROVING REPORTER: So you like making tea?
CATHY COFFEE: Oh sure. You pour boiling water over a sack full
of flower petals and shit. What can go wrong?
ROVING REPORTER: Indeed.
CATHY COFFEE: Huh?
ROVING REOPORTER: Can you tell us the strangest drink anyone's
ever ordered?
CATHY COFFEE: A double, decaf with soya milk. I'm not sure it
technically qualifies as a coffee beverage. Maybe more like
an ovaltine substitute.
ROVING REPORTER: Did you make it?
CATHY COFFEE: Not really, no. I just gave the guy what I'd been
making all morning. I think it was a single espresso with a
vanilla shot.
ROVING REPORTER: He didn't complain?
CATHY COFFEE: No. Comes back all the time.
ROVING REPORTER: And doesn't notice?
CATHY COFFEE: Nope. Denial is a beautiful thing.
ROVING REPORTER: Well. I guess that about wraps it up, Cathy.
Thanks again for your time.
CATHY COFFEE: No problem. I gotta get back to work anyway. Listen,
can I make you something.
ROVING REPORTER: How about that scotch…
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